


Four Times Sutherland Hesitated and One Time He Didn't

by Earlgreyer



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Did I mention Awkward Flirting?, Even more Awkward Flirting, Kissing, M/M, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25464985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Earlgreyer/pseuds/Earlgreyer
Summary: Enthusiastic Inquisition volunteer Donal Sutherland meets dashing Grey Warden Alistair while battling darkspawn in the Deep Roads and it's crush at first sight.  They run into each other a few more times, and, well, pretty much it's just a lot of awkward flirting.  Kinda tooth rotting sugary sappiness ensues.
Relationships: Alistair/Sutherland
Comments: 18
Kudos: 10
Collections: Offerings of a Conspiracy — 2020 (brought to you by Mesopotamian RPF)





	1. In Deep Shit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/penbrydd/gifts).



> Happiest of Happy Birthdays, Pen!

Sutherland and Company had been searching the Deep Roads for days hunting for a lost party of dwarven miners. Between the three of them they’d spotted a few darkspawn here and there but had been able to successfully skirt around them and avoid any fighting. There were no clear signs of the miners they were sent to rescue, and Sutherland was beginning to think the task might require a better equipped party with members more experienced with darkspawn. He’d never say that to his crew, though, and the thought of letting the Inquisitor down was too much to bear, which was why they were still looking.

“The Inquisitor trusts us with this mission. He said that success would mean more allies, and you know the Inquisition is always looking for allies.” Sutherland marched on as he chattered away. “We can prove our worth to the Inquisitor, be a great resource for him.”

“Sounds like someone has a bit of a crush, wouldn’t you say, Voth?” Shayd grinned mischievously. 

Sutherland stopped and turned to look at her. “I do not! He and the Herald are important people doing great things and we get to be a part of it! We’re making history!”

“No one will remember our names, Sutherland.” Shayd laughed as she said it and Sutherland knew she wasn’t upset, she was just being her typically realistic self.

“Doesn’t matter.” He shrugged and kept walking. “History will remember the Inquisition, and we’re a part of it, so it’s like they’ll remember us too.”

They cautiously approached a rough split in the wall, worn down enough to indicate a pathway used regularly. Sutherland signaled a stop and the three of them hugged the wall, slowly creeping towards the gap. Faint sounds of bellowing and metal on metal carried down the tunnel. “Alright, crew! This may be what we’re looking for!” The air around them became charged and Sutherland slowly eased his sword out of its scabbard. “Time to prove our worth. Remember, protect the miners if they’re there, and kill as many darkspawn as you can without getting yourself killed!” He looked each of them in the eye and then slipped through the opening. 

The path twisted and turned, backtracking a few times and it seemed to take forever before the sounds got louder, indicating they might be close. The path ended abruptly, opening into a much larger chamber filled with stalactites, stalagmites and rough rock bridges, with about two dozen darkspawn battling each other for what appeared to be the prize they all were looking for. In a pen to the left were seven miners, all of whom looked exhausted but, amazingly, unhurt.

Shayd rushed to the other side of the opening and hid behind a small outcropping of rock while she peered into the cave. “No way to sneak past the darkspawn.” She pulled her bow from her back and notched an arrow. “I could probably take out four or five from here but the rest would overtake us in a minute.”

Sutherland shook his head. “Nah. You’re an amazing shot, and I trust you.” He looked at Shayd and Voth. “I trust both of you. I’ll sneak in as far as I can without being seen, and then attack. Once I have them engaged, Shayd, you fire your arrows, and Voth you use your magic. Take out as many as you can. Hopefully the surprise will help us eliminate most of them while they’re busy fighting each other.”

Sutherland didn’t wait for acknowledgement. He snuck out, keeping to the shadows of the rock wall, and circled as close as he could to the fray. When there was nowhere left to hide he signaled the attack and charged the nearest darkspawn. 

Arrows flew, and the smell of burning hide filled the air as Shayd fired her longbow and Voth used lightning and fire to incinerate their enemy. They were making headway but not fast enough. There were just too many of them.

The darkspawn slowly pushed Sutherland back toward Shayd and Voth. It made him fight all the harder, unwilling to give up, even with such ugly odds. There was no way the darkspawn were getting his crew. Not as long as he drew breath! And the Inquisitor was counting on them! “We can do this! We _must_ do this!”

It was then that he heard clanking and heavy footfalls from his right and fear gripped his chest. They were struggling to hold their own against the current number of darkspawn. If more were joining the fray they’d never survive. Sutherland let out a guttural groan of anger and brought his sword down on the neck of the nearest genlock, cleaving its head from its shoulders. If they were going to be surrounded by darkspawn he’d go down protecting his crew.

“Sutherland! Down!” He dropped to the ground without hesitation. Two arrows sunk into the nearest hurlock’s chest and a longsword skewered it through the breastbone. Sutherland stared at the steel not comprehending what he was seeing. Neither Shayd nor Voth used a sword.

“Up or you’ll be trampled!” He felt a strong hand firmly grip his arm and haul him to his feet. Sutherland dove back into the fight, slowly realizing that the darkspawn he’d expected to attack from the side tunnel were actually Grey Wardens come to fight with them. Relief almost overwhelmed him. He bellowed with rage, fear and hope and cleaved a genlock from shoulder to hip before turning to attack the next unfortunate enemy. 

It didn’t take long for the battle to finish once the wardens joined the fight. In no time they were mopping up the last of them and tending to their own wounds. Sutherland checked on Shayd and Voth first, but once he knew they were fine he went in search of the warden who’d saved him during the battle. 

\---

“Excuse me, Senior Warden?” Sutherland waited for the armored warrior to turn around before continuing. “I just wanted to say thank you very much for your assistance back there during the fighting. You saved my arse at least three times, and I really wanted to let you know that I appreciate it. But also, the Inquisition appreciates it as well. You see, we’re an adventuring company and part of the Inquisition. And his lordship...”

Sutherland would have kept going, but the warden chose that moment to take off their helmet and Sutherland stammered to a halt. 

“You fought well back there.” The Warden blushed and gestured over his shoulder. “Is that your crew?”

There really wasn’t much that made Sutherland tongue-tied, but beautiful strangers were the exception. Sutherland nodded like an idiot, still unable to form coherent thoughts, let alone verbalize sentences.

“I’m Shayd.” Shayd sauntered over as she swung her longbow over her shoulder. “Part of Sutherland’s Company.” She gestured at Sutherland.

The warden raised his hand in greeting and smiled. “I’m Alistair.” He quickly looked back to Sutherland. “You’re Sutherland? Pleased to meet you.” He held out his gauntlet and then realized what he’d done, quickly retracting it and shoved it under his arm to wrestle his way out of the glove before offering his bare hand.

Somehow Sutherland managed to get his limbs functioning enough to make contact. “Likewise.” The word came out squeaky and high pitched. He shook Alistair’s hand vigorously and couldn’t seem to figure out how to stop. The moment dragged on until Shayd came to the rescue.

“So! Senior Warden Alistair. How did you happen to find us when we needed you most?” She gently placed her hand over the shaking tangle of fingers and brought the motion to a halt. Sutherland shot her a grateful look and she gave him a wink. 

Alistair gestured to himself and his fellow Wardens. “Well, it’s kind of what we do. Sense the darkspawn, find them, kill them. It’s our job.” He gave Shayd his full attention, but as soon as was polite, he switched his gaze to Sutherland with an intensity he could feel to his toes. “How is it you find yourselves in the Deep Roads?”

It was then that Sutherland remembered the miners. “Oh shite! The miners!” He took off toward the enclosure where they were being held, but turned back after a few paces. “Assignment. Miners! Rescue!” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and blushed. “Sort of forgot about ‘em, but we’ll remedy that now! But thank you! I mean it! I owe you one!” Sutherland turned back around and dashed off.


	2. At the End of the Storm There is Light... Flirting?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sutherland and Company are trapped on the Storm Coast. Will help arrive in time? (Of course it does. There are three more chapters. Just work with me.)

Rat had escaped. Rat had escaped and would make it back to the Inquisition and help would come. Sutherland believed it, because the Inquisitor hadn’t let him down yet. They just had to hold on a little longer. 

He dodged the pike that a hurlock to his left had thrown at his chest, and slipped on a spindleweed covered rock, barely parrying the longsword that slashed downward towards his throat. They’d been fighting for so long he’d lost count of how many they’d killed, or how many hours had passed since Rat had made it past the darkspawn line. “For the Inquisition!” Help would definitely come. He just hoped it wouldn’t be too late when it finally arrived. 

When the hurlock in front of him lost his head, literally, he realized help had materialized. “I told you lot they’d come!” 

“Shut it and concentrate, Sutherland. We’re not out of it yet!” Sutherland barely had time to register Shayd’s words before another darkspawn was hefting an axe and swinging for his neck. It dropped at his feet, an arrow clean through its throat.

“Thanks Shayd!” She was outspoken, but she was excellent at planning and deadly with a longbow, and Sutherland couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather have fighting at his side.

Sutherland swung around to confront the movement on his right, his longsword arching to cleave the monster’s head from its shoulders, and barely stopped in time. It was no monster beside him, but a Grey Warden in full armor. Sutherland redirected his blade, took a quick look at the field of battle and saw two other Grey Wardens engaging in the fighting. Now the tide would turn! Sutherland was just about to offer thanks for their help when the skies turned dark and ominous, and a lightning bolt fried the nearest hurlock. He and the Grey Warden looked to the mountain pass from where the storm originated and Sutherland let out a loud whoop of relief. “It’s the Inquisitor! I told you! I told you he’d come!”

Three riders appeared at the top of the ridge, the figure in the lead obviously Inquisitor Adaar, one of the largest qunari Sutherland had ever seen, though truthfully he hadn’t seen many. The Inquisitor galloped down the slope, dismounted from his druffalo before it had even stopped, and waded into the middle of the fray, greatsword sweeping through three darkspawn in succession. Adaar was mid-cleave by the time Sutherland realized he should be doing more fighting and less gawking. 

One of the new mages that traveled with the Inquisitor, Valery of somewhere Orlesian, blasted one darkspawn after another with lightning while Cole flitted between targets, stabbing and disappearing, only to reappear near the next. 

It didn’t take long for the combined forces to bring the battle to a close. When the last darkspawn hit the ground the storm clouds evaporated and the skies cleared. Sutherland glanced around. Darkspawn corpses were strewn about the hillside and somehow the various forces opposing them appeared to have sustained only minor injuries. Once he was sure his own team was fine, Sutherland leaned against a large boulder and caught his breath, the adrenaline high draining away quickly. “Here. Drink this. It will help with your arm and the fatigue.”

Sutherland glanced up and felt his brain short out. The Grey Warden he’d almost killed, the one holding out a healing potion to him now, was the same handsome Grey Warden from the Deep Roads. “My arm?”

“You’re bleeding. Doesn’t look deep, but your sleeve is soaked. Better safe than sorry.” The Warden, Alistair, gestured to Sutherland’s left arm.

Sutherland followed his gaze and noticed for the first time that he’d been injured. His arm began to throb. “Shite. That smarts.”

“This will help.” Alistair put his silver winged helmet carefully on the ground and unstoppered the vial. “Do you remember me? Alistair.” He handed Sutherland the vial. “We met in the Deep Roads.”

He didn’t trust his voice to remain steady so he nodded and downed the health potion, using it as the excuse for not speaking. He was working up the courage to say something when Shayd wandered over.

“Oh good! You got one.” She waved a second health potion at him and he smiled and nodded, gesturing to Alistair. Shayd glanced over and smiled. “Well met, Senior Warden Alistair!” 

She held out her hand and Alistair took it, shaking it firmly. “Well met, m’lady archer! Shayd, wasn’t it?”

“Indeed! Excellent memory.” She turned to Sutherland. “I quite like this one.” She grinned and winked at Alistair. “So once again, you save us in the nick of time. You’re making a habit of it!”

“We were actually following the darkspawn. Unfortunately, we lost track of them during that last big storm and it took us a bit to pick up the trail again. Otherwise you might not have encountered them at all.”

“That would have been a shame.”

Alistair and Shayd looked at Sutherland like he’d grown two heads. “I mean, not a shame that we wouldn’t have had to fight them! Who wants to fight darkspawn?!” Sutherland blanched and looked wide-eyed at Alistair. “I mean, you want to fight darkspawn, sure! Well, not that you _want_ to fight them, if you didn’t _have_ to! Not that you’d shirk your duties and make someone else fight them!”

Shayd put her hand over Sutherland’s mouth and gave Alistair an apologetic look. “It’s the adrenaline from the fight. He gets like this sometimes.”

“It’s alright. I understand.” Alistair smiled kindly and was just about to add something when he was interrupted by a voice from across the field.

“Ali! Time to head out!”

Alistair glanced across to the two other Grey Wardens standing with Inquisitor Adaar and nodded, then turned back to Shayd and Sutherland. “Well, take care.”

“Thank you for helping us! We owe you! Again.” Sutherland’s voice was muffled behind Shayd’s hand and he wasn’t at all sure Alistair would understand what he’d said.

“Buy me an ale the next time we see each other. As long as there are no darkspawn around. Then we’ll call it even.” Sutherland nodded vigorously behind Shayd’s hand and Alistair grinned at her. “I think it’s safe to let go now.”

She scoffed and shook her head. “You don’t know him like I do. If I let go now who knows what’ll come out of his mouth!”

Alistair grinned and gave her a quick nod of his head and then turned to Sutherland, meeting his eyes and blushing profusely. “Take care, Sutherland. Even with the circumstances, it was nice to see you again.” Sutherland could only watch as Alistair turned and walked across the field to the other Grey Wardens. There was a quick conversation with the Inquisitor and then the three were moving down the road to places unknown. 

\---

Sutherland let out a small sigh and leaned back against his pack. They’d made it back to base camp and would rest the night there before trekking back to Skyhold in the morning. Shayd nudged him. “Did you see how pretty pink his cheeks turned?” 

“He’d just fought a battle! Of course his cheeks were flushed! He was probably roasting in that armor.”

“I think maybe someone has replaced the Inquisitor in our leader’s esteem.” Shayd grinned at Voth and Rat before nudging Sutherland. “Alistair seemed very solicitous.”

Sutherland nudged Shayd back. “Of course he was. It’s part of the whole Grey Warden thing.”

“You mean the _In War, Victory. In Peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice_?” She made her voice deep and put a hand to her heart as she said the words. “There is nothing in there that indicates a Grey Warden would be overly interested or concerned with the welfare of regular people. It’s pretty much only about killing darkspawn.” She leaned closer. “Seems maybe you aren’t _regular_ people. He didn’t bring any of the rest of us a healing potion.”

Sutherland felt his cheeks warm and tried to fight the smile tugging at his lips. “As this company’s leader, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to show me more respect than that.”

Shayd rolled her eyes. “I’m pretty sure that’s not ever going to happen. But you love me anyway.”

“That I do.” He looked at his small company. “I love you all, my merry band of adventurers.” He raised his cup and toasted them. “To another day in the service of The Inquisition!”

They cheered and toasted, and drank, thrilled to have survived the day. And if tonight there were dreams of blond Wardens with beautiful blue eyes and soft smiles, then really, there was little to complain about at all.


	3. The Herald's Rest... Not So Restful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise visits, awkward flirting, bewildering revelations, fast exits. Or, the chapter where shit goes awry.

Sutherland leaned back in his chair and took a long drink of his ale before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and pointing at Voth. “He fried ‘em right where they stood! I swear to the Maker, he did!”

Shayd leaned against the wooden balustrade for support and threw back her head, laughing loud enough to almost cover the din from the taproom below. “You’re making that up, Sutherland. You forget, I was there.”

“Well, he almost did.” Sutherland grinned into his tankard and tried to hide his smile behind it.

Shayd leaned over the railing and scanned the quickly filling Herald’s Rest. “If you’re going to order food you should do it soon. It’s just about supper time and the tavern is getting full.”

Sutherland set the front legs of his chair back on the floor and was just about to stand when Shayd whipped around and stared right at him, shock all over her face. “You will _never_ guess who just walked in!”

“Uuuuum…” Sutherland bit his lip and tried to come up with a good guess.

“I said you’ll never guess. I meant it. You _will never_ guess correctly. So let me just tell you that a handsome, blond Warden just wandered into our local tavern, _by himself._ ” Sutherland spit out the mouthful of ale he’d been attempting to swallow and slammed the tankard on the table before bolting to the railing. He almost threw himself over the edge, craning his neck to spot Alistair in the growing crowd. Shayd grabbed the back of his tunic and pulled him back to safety. “There.” 

She pointed to the edge of the bar and Sutherland’s heart started racing. It absolutely was Alistair, the Grey Warden with whom he’d fought against darkspawn so many weeks ago. “Do you think he’ll remember me?”

Shayd smacked him in the back of the head. “Pfft! Of course he’ll remember you! He called you by name when he rescued us on the Storm Coast, held your hand as you two gazed deeply into each others’ eyes.” Shayd turned to Rat who’d been silently watching the proceedings. “It was _so_ romantic. Both of them covered in gore, sweat rolling into their eyes, both of them talking like they’d never done it before.” Rat grinned and nodded.

“Hey now!” Sutherland pushed her playfully, but didn’t really have a good comeback. They had been utterly pathetic, really. 

“Well!” Shayd gestured to Alistair. “You’d better go get him before someone else snatches him up. Good looking Warden, and all.” She nudged him in the ribs. “You know what they say about Warden stamina.”

Sutherland blushed seven different shades of red. “Shush! You know that’s just a rumor.” He had heard, though, and would be lying if he said the thought hadn’t kept him _up_ more than a few nights. Sutherland grabbed his tankard and headed for the stairs. “Wish me luck!”

“Luck!” Shayd leaned on the railing and called down to him. “I don’t think you’ll need it though.”

\---

Sutherland wove his way through the crowd, death grip on his tankard handle, and tried to think of something witty to say as an opening line. Unfortunately the only things that came to mind were tired phrases sleazy bottom dwellers used. He hadn’t thought of anything clever by the time he stepped up behind Alistair. Sutherland glanced up at Shayd who made shooing motions at him and mouthed _get on with it!_

Since creativity had failed him, Sutherland settled for a basic hello. He gently touched Alistair’s arm, careful not to startle him. “Alistair?”

Alistair turned to look over his shoulder, brows drawn down in confusion. His expression changed to surprised cheerfulness almost immediately, and Sutherland took a breath. “Sutherland! Fancy meeting you here!” Alistair’s cheeks turned crimson. “I mean, sure, you’re here, in _Skyhold_. You told me you were based here. But, I wasn’t sure if you’d be out on a mission. You know. Instead of _here_.” 

“Yup. I’m here!” Sutherland grinned and rocked back and forth on his heels. There was a bit of an awkward silence. “At the Herald’s Rest!” They both looked around and then back to each other. “In Skyhold.”

“Yes. Just where you’d said.” Alistair nodded, seemingly at a loss for any more words.

There was a throat clearing from behind the bar. “You plannin’ on orderin’ anything, or are you just here to stop the flow of customers?” 

Sutherland edged past Alistair and set his tankard on the bar. “Oh Cabot. Yes, um, two ales, please.” Cabot sighed and all but rolled his eyes, snatched the mostly empty tankard from the bartop and headed towards the kegs. Sutherland turned to Alistair. “I hope ale is alright. It’s really the best option, unless you’d prefer wine, or something else?” He turned back toward Cabot but Alistair cut him off before he could call for him to stop.

“Ale is good. I like ale. It’s… ale-like.” 

Sutherland nodded like it made perfect sense. “It is, isn’t it?” 

Cabot set Sutherland’s tankard in front of him and handed Alistair one of his own and then glared at them until they turned and walked a few paces from the bar. Alistair glanced around the room. “Well, would you like to sit?” He gestured to an empty table and Sutherland nodded and followed him to it.

They sat, each fidgeting with their mugs and not saying anything, until they both started speaking at once.

“So what brings you to…”

“I was just here with…”

They laughed and Sutherland gestured to Alistair. “Go ahead. You were saying?”

Alistair grinned and nodded once. “I was just saying that I’m here with a friend.”

Sutherland’s heart sank. “Oh. I see.” He forced a smile. “Yes, of course you are.”

Alistair didn’t seem to have noticed Sutherland’s disappointment. “He’s not a very close friend, really. I’ve met him just a few times before, but we have a mutual mission, and he asked for my help.” Sutherland’s spirits perked up a bit, though he was beginning to feel a bit dizzy. Whether it was the ale, the emotional swings or just being this close to Alistair, he couldn’t tell. “My friend came here to speak with the Inquisitor.”

“Ah, so business.” Sutherland was only a little disappointed. At least Alistair was in Skyhold, no matter the reason for the trip. 

“I also remembered you said you were based here, and I thought, well, that decides it, doesn’t it.” He glanced at Sutherland.

“You wanted to see me?” Sutherland’s voice squeaked a bit.

Alistair grinned and nodded. “And here you are!”

“I am!” Sutherland grinned back. “I did owe you at least one drink. For saving me twice.”

Alistair waved his hand dismissively. “You and your company had things well in hand in the Deep Roads, and the way you were wading through the darkspawn on the Storm Coast was quite impressive. You’ve a very strong swing.” Alistair blushed and Sutherland sighed into his tankard. It was the sweetest thing he’d ever seen. “The Inquisitor and his party were also only minutes behind us on the Storm Coast. You’d have been fine.”

“No, you saved us, and I’m forever grateful for it.” Sutherland raised his tankard to him and then took a long sip. 

Alistair’s blush deepened, but he raised his mug to Sutherland. “Thank you.”

“Thank _you._ ”

It was then that the tavern door opened and Varric walked in accompanied by a very tall, handsome man with the bushiest mustache Sutherland had ever seen before, and Anton Hawke. “Oh, there are my friends.” Alistair waved to get their attention. Varric saw them first and steered the small group to their table.

“Making friends already, your majesty?” Varric grinned at Alistair’s scowl and nodded to Sutherland. “Hey, kid.”

“Please, Varric, that’s not even remotely funny, and Sutherland and I have met a few times before.” Alistair’s scowl was evidence of how _not_ amused he was. Sutherland gave a small wave to the three newcomers before turning to Alistair with a questioning look, which was pointedly ignored under the pretense of introductions. “I’m assuming you know Anton and Varric, but allow me to introduce you to my fellow Grey Warden, Jean-Marc Stroud.”

Sutherland wasn’t that surprised that Alistair knew Varric. Varric knew everyone everywhere. It was a bit disconcerting to find that Alistair was acquainted with Anton Hawke, Viscount Kirkwall, which meant he probably knew Commander Cullen as well. 

“Warden Stroud, it’s very nice to meet you.” Sutherland gave him the once over, not particularly thrilled with how handsome he was, or his sexy accent. He debated disliking Stroud on principle.

“Just Stroud is fine.” He laughed amiably and shook Sutherland’s hand. “Very nice to meet you, finally. I feel like I know you a little already.” He glanced at Alistair. “Alistair _frequently_ speaks quite highly of you.” Sutherland immediately decided Stroud might not be such a bad guy. 

Varric glanced between Sutherland and Alistair. “Is that so? How’d you two meet?”

Sutherland’s enthusiasm got the better of him and he answered the question for Alistair. “On the field of battle! First time was in the Deep Roads when my company and I were rescuing some miners from a horde of darkspawn. Alistair and his Grey Wardens lent their formidable assistance and helped us defeat an entire horde! And not a single miner was injured or lost.” Sutherland grinned at Alistair. “The second time we met was on the Storm Coast. Alistair and his Wardens saved our hides for sure, that time. We were close to being taken out by more darkspawn than I’d ever seen in one place. I truly thought we were done for, but there he was again, come to save us just in time, like a true hero!” Sutherland once again toasted Alistair with his tankard and Alistair blushed, though he didn’t actually look unhappy about the compliment. Sutherland took that as a good sign. 

“You and your company were holding your own. And Inquisitor Adaar was not far behind. Val and Cole rode with him and between the lot you’d have had things in order in no time. You didn’t really need our help. ” The compliment was very much appreciated, especially in front of such accomplished men.

“Hey, your majesty, have you seen Curly yet?” Varric gestured over his shoulder.

It took Sutherland a moment, but he’d heard Varric refer to Commander Cullen by that nickname before so figured that was who he meant. “You know The Commander, too? Of course you do.” He gestured to The Champion.

“Actually they were templar recruits together.” Varric would have said more but Alistair cut him off. 

“That was a very long time ago.” Alistair glared at Varric who only chuckled and shook his head. There was a look that passed between them, but not having even a small frame of reference, Sutherland couldn’t determine what it meant. “Like it happened to a completely different person.” Alistair looked at Sutherland and gently answered his question. “But yes, I know Commander Cullen.”

Something buzzed at the back of Sutherland’s brain; a feeling that he had information he should be able to put together, but he couldn’t quite make the pieces fit. It was obviously information Alistair would rather he not know. “Having important friends. That’s not a bad thing.” He smiled, feeling a bit like the country boy he was and half jokingly asked, “So, do you know anyone else here in Skyhold?”

“Oh Ali knows lots of people. Sister Nightingale, Morrigan…” Varric kept talking but Sutherland stopped listening at that point. 

The pieces suddenly fit together and he looked wide-eyed at Alistair. “Alistair.”

“Yes?” Sutherland watched Alistair deflate at the exact moment he figured out that Sutherland knew the truth.

“Alistair. Theirin. The son of King Maric.” Sutherland's voice kept rising in pitch. “Friend to The Hero of Ferelden. Defeated the Archdemon and ended the Blight. _That_ Alistair?” He felt like he’d been hit with a blunt object, and had stones in the pit of his stomach. Heat crept up his neck and face. He’d been flirting with one of the most important men in all of the Southern continent; possibly in all of Thedas. How could he have thought… Well, obviously he’d been mistaken. 

Alistair looked like he’d been punched in the gut and alternately glared at Varric and worriedly glanced at Sutherland. “Well, I didn’t actually do the dispatching, but yes, I suppose…”

The tavern door swung open and Commander Cullen stepped in as if summoned by their conversation. A few cheers went up from off-duty soldiers. They raised their tankards in salute and Cullen raised his hand in acknowledgement but hurried quickly to their table. “Alistair! I apologize for being late. I just found out you were here.” 

Alistair stood and they grasped forearms firmly, pleased grins on both their faces. That was Sutherland’s cue to make an exit. The tavern had filled and the chatter had grown louder. With the arrival of the Commander things grew a bit more chaotic. It was easy enough to mumble his farewells while everyone was occupied, and slip back upstairs unnoticed.

“Well, that sort of went… alright?” Shayd gave him a sympathetic look and Sutherland shook his head.

“Not in the way that counts.”

Shayd put her arm around his shoulders and gave him a little squeeze. “Well, you had his undivided attention for a little while. Longer than the last few times we’ve run into him, so that’s an improvement!” She smiled encouragingly.

“He’s a very important man, Shayd.” Sutherland looked at her and clenched his jaw to stop the flood of useless words that wanted to escape. “Alistair _Theirin_. Lots of friends in high places.” Sutherland felt utterly foolish, and wanted nothing more at that moment than to escape to his room and stay there until Alistair left Skyhold, no matter how long that took. “He was just being nice, is all.” 

Sutherland lifted his tankard to his mouth and shook his head before setting it on the nearest table. “Think I’ve had enough for tonight.” He looked at his friends and smiled half-heartedly. “See you all tomorrow, then. Maybe the Inquisitor will have a job for us. Something to get us out of Skyhold for a bit.” Something to get his mind off of a handsome Grey Warden way above his station. He headed for the stairs and climbed slowly to the next level and exited onto the ramparts. 

The cool night air was a relief to his overheated skin. The way back to his room took a meandering path as he considered what he’d learned, and any way he turned it, there was no combination that gave him any hope that he hadn’t imagined Alistair’s interest in him. It had been all in his own head. At least he hadn’t actually embarrassed himself too badly, outside of his own crew, and they were his friends. He might take a bit of ribbing for his infatuation, but they’d be easy on him and then drop it, and then he could finally get past this whole mess.


	4. The Cave of Infinite Possibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things Almost go right for once.

Sutherland wiped the sweat from his brow as he dismounted and followed the Inquisitor and the rest of the group into the cave. The dramatically cooler temperature more than made up for the creepy blue glowy mushrooms and the musty smell. They were there to meet Stroud who supposedly had information about the missing Grey Warden situation. Inquisitor Adaar had personally asked Sutherland to accompany the mission, and he was eager to offer whatever help he could.

Since finding out about the Grey Wardens, Sutherland had wondered if Alistair was alright. He supposed he would have heard something if anything had happened, given all the people it turned out Alistair knew at Skyhold. Not that they would have told him directly, but the Skyhold gossip network was strong, and word would have gotten around. It still didn’t stop him worrying, though. Not that he had any right to worry, more than in a friendly way. Which was exactly how he was worrying. Definitely not in any kind of romantic way. At all.

Sutherland followed Varric down the path through the cave, and was so lost in his thoughts that he almost ran into him when everyone stopped. The path ended at a wooden slat barrier with a door in the center. A large, creepy, white skull with a red blindfold and streaks of blood was painted on one wall. Adaar laughed and pointed at it. “Looks like the prior occupants were politely asked to leave.” He knocked once on the door and opened it, ducking as he stepped through so he didn’t hit his horns on the frame. Varric followed, and as Sutherland neared the painting he slowed. Something looked off. 

He stepped to the side to get a better look and Cassandra swept past him. “Do not get distracted.” She was right, but Sutherland couldn’t help himself. He peered more closely at the painting and grimaced as he realized the blood wasn’t paint, and _politely asked to leave_ took on a whole new meaning. Sutherland hurried through the door and closed it behind them.

“Inquisitor.” Stroud stepped from the shadows. “Thank you for coming.”

Without explanation or warning, Alistair appeared from another darkened part of the cave and Sutherland’s focus was solely on him. He looked anxious. And no wonder, with everything Stroud was saying about Corypheus and the fake Calling. Sutherland wanted to ask Alistair if he was hearing it, if he felt compelled to follow the call to the Deep Roads. The thought made him nauseous. When Stroud confirmed that _he_ was also hearing the fake Calling, Sutherland’s heart sank, and his resolve hardened. The Inquisitor would find a way to end it and defeat Corypheus! The Grey Wardens were critical to stopping future Blights, and they would all do whatever it took to save Alistair! And the rest of the Grey Wardens.

Once discussions moved to specific tactics and Cassandra, Varric and Adaar joined Stroud around the map, Sutherland risked a glance at Alistair. He was startled to find Alistair’s piercing blue eyes staring straight at him. Sutherland didn’t know what to say, so said nothing, but he couldn’t look away. Alistair took the few steps necessary to close the gap between them. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“About the fake Calling? You didn’t know about that before, did you?” 

“No, but that’s not what I meant.” Alistair’s brows drew lower and he took an extra step towards Sutherland, putting them in particularly close proximity. “I meant, about me. Being who I am. I should have told you. I’ve been thinking about that for weeks.”

Sutherland gave a quick little laugh and tried to quell the pounding in his chest. “We barely know each other. You don’t owe me any explanations about anything. Your private business is yours to keep or tell.”

Alistair shuffled closer and Sutherland swallowed nervously, unsure what was happening. “But, you see, that’s just it. I wanted to tell you. I _meant_ to tell you that evening in Skyhold. I just hadn’t anticipated everyone finding out I was there quite so quickly. I’d hoped we might have had a few hours to ourselves.”

There was obviously something wrong with that word choice. Or his ears. No, it was his mind. Definitely. Alistair could not have just meant what it sounded like he meant, because that would be ridiculous. Impossible, even. “Oh?” Pathetically, it was all Sutherland could manage.

“I wanted to talk to you long before then, every time we met, actually, but each time I tried I was called away and I never got the chance. I thought about writing you a letter, but that didn’t seem the proper way to divulge that kind of thing. Any of the things I wanted to say, really.”

The words sounded utterly normal. Proper sentences were used. But there had to be different meanings for those words, because Alistair was an important man, and Sutherland was… well, _not_. In the end his curiosity got the better of him. “What else did you want to say?”

Alistair’s grin lit up the whole cave. “Well, I wanted to tell you that I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He waved his hand in the air like he was trying to erase what he’d said. “Can’t. I _can’t_ stop thinking about you.” Alistair took a breath and Sutherland wondered how he’d accomplished that. His own lungs weren’t currently functioning. Who needed to breathe, anyway? “I… I wanted to say that I think you’re a capable fighter, and you’re brave. It’s wonderful how positive you always are, your enthusiasm is refreshing, and I’d really, _really_ love to get to know you better.” Alistair’s cheeks turned a bit pink and it was captivating. “I couldn’t think of anything else to say in a letter, so I’m afraid I never sent it.” 

“Oh. Well, saying it in person is better. If you have the opportunity.” The world could have come to an end outside the cave, and Sutherland wouldn’t have noticed or cared. His entire focus was on Alistair, on how soft his hair looked; on how absolutely blue his eyes were. How had he never noticed the adorable little crinkles at the corners, or how utterly kissable his lips were? 

Alistair’s blush deepened. “Well, I also wasn’t sure if you’d _want_ to hear any of that. From me, I mean.”

Sutherland couldn’t nod fast enough. “Yes. Yes I would. Did. Do!” He flailed his arms. “All of that! You’re… _amazing!_ And I thought so even before I knew _who_ you were.” That didn’t elicit the response he was hoping for.

“I’m just me. Just Alistair. If you must be formal, it’s Senior Warden Alistair. Nothing more. Not now, and really, not before either. I’m a normal, average person.” The tension in him was palpable. 

Without thinking about it Sutherland touched Alistair’s arm and squeezed a little. “Sorry. I didn’t mean… I meant, you’re amazing. Just you. I thought so long before I found out about… you know.” He waved his other hand uselessly.

“You did?” Alistair gave him a small smile and that was all the encouragement Sutherland needed.

“Of course I did! If you could have seen yourself in the Dark Roads… I thought you were incredible, fighting the darkspawn like it was nothing! You slashed and hacked right through the lot of them! And then when you saved us on the Storm Coast… I’d never been so glad to see anyone in all my life! I truly thought we were done for, and then when I found out it was _you_ come to our rescue _again?_ I knew right then and there. I _knew_.”

Alistair looked at him like nobody ever had before and it made his stomach do little flips. He wanted Alistair to look at him like that all the time. “What did you know?” It was almost a whisper, like Alistair was afraid of what Sutherland might reveal.

Sutherland realized what he’d said, and what had been asked, and his brain seriously thought about panicking. But he was a fighter. An Inquisition fighter! Given hand picked assignments that were specifically from the Inquisitor! He was no coward! Sutherland stood a little taller and looked Alistair right in the eyes. “I knew if I could only get to know you better, if I could talk with you, we’d find out we have a lot in common. We’d have a good time together. A _great_ time!” That wasn’t at all what he’d intended to say, and Alistair looked a bit let down, so he tried again. “I knew we…” 

Adaar’s voice cut right through everything. “Alright, let’s go. We have a lot of work to do before we meet Stroud in the Western Approach.” Sutherland jumped back, startled and felt the heat rising to his cheeks. Alistair was equally as red. “Oh, Alistair! Didn’t know you were here!” He looked between the two and grinned. “I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”

Sutherland shook his head, disappointment settling around him like a cape. “Nothing that can’t wait a little bit, I suppose.”

Alistair held his gaze and nodded before stepping back. “Western Approach. I’ll see you there.” He backed up a few more paces and disappeared into the dark shadows where he came from, as if it were all a dream.

Sutherland starred after him, berating himself for the missed opportunity.

“Okay, kid. Let’s go.” Varric nudged him in the direction of the door and Sutherland realized that Cassandra and Adaar had already left. He stumbled forward, his mind replaying every word, every gesture Alistair had said and made and somehow managed to make it out of the cave and onto his horse without tripping over himself or anything else. Varric chuckled and nudged him from his own horse. “Hey kid, you gonna be alright?”

Sutherland nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m great.” He gave his horse a little nudge forward. He’d find a way to meet Alistair again and then… then they wouldn’t be interrupted. “Inquisitor, about the Western Approach…”


	5. Courting in the Courtyard?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More tangled emotions and awkwardness, but Sutherland's done dithering.

The courtyard was filled with demons. Demons everywhere! And green eerie glowing streams of light. Sutherland fought like his life depended on it. That was a lie. He fought like _Alistair’s_ life depended on it. Because it probably did. 

They’d only had a few moments together before fighting broke out. Only a brief chance to say hello and try to catch up, and then Alistair and the Inquisitor were racing across Adamant fortress in one direction, and the Herald had Sutherland and Company go in the opposite. A two pronged attack, he said. Better odds, he said. Really, all it did was give Sutherland a perfect view of the Inquisitor as he, Varric, Anders, Anton and Alistair were blasted off the ramparts by Corypheus’ dragon. He stared in horror as they surely fell to their deaths, except the Inquisitor opened a rift, like he’d done before, and they all fell through into the Fade. 

They would all be alright. They would! They had to be. Alistair promised he’d be careful. That they’d meet after, and have that drink, and talk, and… maybe more. _Finally_. Sutherland fought the demons in his path so that it would be cleared once Alistair returned. He would. They all would!

There was a loud ripping sound from the center of the courtyard and a bright green flash momentarily blinded him. He felt the tearing of his bicep and swore as he backed up, slashing and hacking at the demon in front of him. From the corner of his eye he caught something falling out of the rift. One by one the Inquisitor’s party tumbled out of the fade. First came the Inquisitor. Sutherland’s stomach tightened and he mumbled a prayer, made several ridiculous promises to the Maker and held his breath. The second one through was Alistair and perhaps later he’d be ashamed of himself, but at that moment Sutherland didn’t care who else came through. 

There was a loud crack and bright green lightning, and the demon in front of him melted into nothing. Sutherland turned on his heels and sprinted across the courtyard towards Alistair. Alistair had just made it to his feet when Sutherland launched himself at his chest, wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly. “You made it! I knew you’d make it out! I told Shayd. If anyone would survive it would be you lot!” 

That was about the time Sutherland noticed Alistair was favoring his right side. “You’re hurt!” He tried to back up but Alistair held on tightly. 

“I shouldn’t be here. We all almost died a few times. And Anton…” Alistair leaned forward and pressed his face into Sutherland’s neck.

Sutherland hushed him as he glanced around. Anton Hawke was nowhere to be seen and a sick feeling began to grow in the pit of Sutherland's stomach. “It’s alright. You’re here, and it will all be figured out. Lots of very smart people in the Inquisition. Right?”

Alistair nodded into his neck and squeezed him tightly before gently pushing away. “We should check on the rest of the fighting.” They should. Sutherland knew they should, but he didn’t want to let Alistair go. Not now. Not ever, really. But he nodded and backed up, wincing as Alistair slid his hands over his arm. “You’re hurt!” It was as if the words forced Sutherland’s brain to acknowledge the injury and pain lanced through his bicep, causing him to gasp. “We need a healing potion!”

“We need two!” Sutherland nodded to Alistair’s side.

Alistair shook his head. “I’m fine. Others may need the potion more than I do, and we should check on the fighting.”

A large qunari hand appeared between them holding two healing potions. “Both of you take one, and go rest for a bit.” Sutherland reluctantly stepped back from Alistair and took both potions. Alistair started to protest, but Adaar cut him off. “Once we closed the rift most of the demons melted away. There’s only mop-up left here and there. You’re both injured, and I’m going to need you at full strength when we regroup to come up with a plan to rescue Anton. There is no way I’m leaving him in the Fade. Cullen and Varric will kill me if I do, and I’m not ready to die yet.” He stared them both down until they unstoppered the vials and drank the healing potions. “Now go rest for a bit. Meet back at the command tent in an hour. That’s an order.”

Sutherland stared at the retreating back of the Inquisitor and then glanced at Alistair. “I guess we should rest.”

“We should. Rest.”

Sutherland bit the inside of his cheek and looked across the courtyard. “I feel awful.”

“So do I. And not just because of the injury.” Alistair tried to stand up straight and winced.

Sutherland shook his head. “No. I mean, yes, my injury hurts but… Anton, in the Fade…”

“It’s difficult to comprehend. I can’t imagine the pain Cullen must be going through.” Alistair glanced back the way the Inquisitor went. “Maybe I should…”

“I’m not sorry.”

Alistair stopped talking and looked at him. “What? Sorry about what?”

“It’s wrong. I know it is. And I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone, really, but I’m not sorry you made it out of the Fade. I feel horrible about it, but I can’t regret that you made it out.” He crushed Alistair to his chest. “If you hadn’t made it out…”

Alistair held him tightly. “But I did. I’m here.” Sutherland squeezed him tighter and Alistair groaned. “And I think I need that rest.” 

“Alright.” Sutherland stepped back and gave Alistair a half-hearted smile. “Guess I’ll rest too, then. So, meet you back at the command tent in an hour?”

Alistair shook his head and draped an arm around Sutherland’s shoulders. “I’d rather you helped me to my tent. I’m injured, you know.” He smiled and it almost made it all the way to his eyes. “I really don’t want to be alone right now, if that’s alright with you.” He waved his hand like he wanted to erase the words. “I mean, I really want to be with _you_ right now, if that’s alright.” He stepped in front of Sutherland, lowered his arm to Sutherland’s waist, and brought his other hand up to his cheek. “ _With_ you.” The slow stroke of Alistair’s thumb along his cheekbone was almost as intoxicating as the way Alistair was looking at him. “If that’s alright.”

“Oh, yes. Very alright. Extremely alright.” He wanted to laugh, or cry, or scream with relief and guilt for having Alistair back when Cullen… but they couldn’t do anything about that right now. They had no more time to waste. If today didn’t prove that then nothing would. Who knew if any of them would survive the battle with Corypheus. And a battle was coming. There was no doubt of that. So if they might die, it was only right to take the time and opportunity they were given, and make the most of it. “I would very much like to kiss you right now, if that’s alright with you.” 

Alistair smiled and this time it shone in his eyes. “Oh, yes. Very alright. Extremely, even.”

“Are you making fun of me?” Sutherland laughed and stepped closer, until their bodies were just barely touching. 

“Maybe teasing is a better word.” Alistair leaned in. “There was mention of kissing?”

“Quiet you.”

“Make me.” 

Sutherland grinned, pressed closer and lightly brushed his lips against Alistair’s. It was as if tiny bolts of lightning crackled under his skin, making every inch of him tingle. He pressed his lips to Alistair’s, kept the kiss soft and easy before slowly bringing it to a close. “Like that?”

“It’s a good start. Maybe more like this.” The hand on his cheek slid around the back of his neck. Alistair’s grip was strong and held him firmly, but not so he couldn’t move if he wanted to. It seemed like it took forever for Alistair to lean in. The anticipation was as frustrating as it was exciting and when their lips finally met, Sutherland couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss. Alistair took full advantage of that, quickly teasing the inside of Sutherland’s lip with the tip of his tongue. Sutherland gasped then moaned as Alistair took control, deepening the kiss as he pulled Sutherland closer and tilted his head sideways, languidly caressing the inside of his mouth with his tongue. Sutherland tried to grab whatever part of Alistair he could, and kissed him back, slid his tongue against Alistair’s and tried not to embarrass himself by going all weak kneed.

Alistair brought the kiss to a close and leaned his forehead against Sutherland’s. It was all Sutherland could do to catch his breath. “Yes, that was definitely better.” 

Alistair laughed and closed his eyes briefly. He looked tired and sad and Sutherland stroked his cheek with the back of his hand. “You should rest.”

“Only if you come with me.”

Sutherland nodded against his forehead. “Alright. Lead the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry to inform you that I'm already working on the next installment of this ridiculousness.


End file.
